Sunday, November 2, 2008

Pondering

I have had alot of time to reflect on the last couple of weeks events and process all kinds of feelings, emotions and questions. I have also had the opportunity to meet many wonderful Christian people who are going through crises themselves. Hours of sitting in the waiting room you hear all kinds of pain and suffering.


We are so very fortunate. Ten days ago the doctors were talking with me about disability and life insurance - tonight they are talking about him going home on Monday or Tuesday. I know that God has laid a hand on Steve. I have seen the videos of his arteries and the damage to his heart. I know that oxygen was cut off to his heart for over 8 hours and that means dead heart tissue - imagine all that tissue regenerating itself - it is a miracle. God did touch him. I can't answer why God touched Stephen and others in the waiting room are suffering tonight - and they are believers as well. I find that I can only hold them in my arms and cry with them. I have spent hours listening to their pain - getting coffee for them - praying for them.


I have found it difficult to process why Steve is healed and others are not - I have also had a difficult time even saying "I know that God has laid his hand on Steve" - or "it was the prayers of the people" because there are other Christians here who are praying and thier loved one is not doing well at all. I see the pain in their eyes when I say we had a miracle. I know there were literally hundreds of prayers on Steve's behalf. I know you prayed and I believe that God heard your prayer and He was gracious.

People tell me that God's ways are not our ways. God knows when it is best for someone to live and someone to die. God will decide, so then I ask the question if that is the case then why pray The only thing that I can figure out in my mind is that I pray to know God's way; for God to reveal to me His thoughts, His will, and His timing. He tells me what and how to pray. As you prayed, God revealed to you what to pray for. Do you know what I noticed in each of the comments that came across the blog? You prayed for us to have strength. You prayed for healing; You prayed for peace; You prayed for safety; for us to feel loved. Do you know what we experienced through this ordeal? Steve talks about peace like he has never had before. Jayna talks about the love and support she has felt. The kids tell us that they knew God was with them in their travels and kept them safe. God did reveal to each of you exactly what to pray for - Healing was one of the components and I am so glad that God directed us to pray for healing - you know He could have directed us to pray for complete healing (which is death), but He did not. God gave each of us comfort. He brought everyone of us together as one in Christ - The power of prayer is not about going to God to be our own little genie that performs miracles and hallelujah for us we got the miracle- the power of prayer is about the minds/hearts/ spirits uniting as one to pray for God's will.

I am humbled and very grateful that God saw fit to bring Steve back to us. I also believe that God has something He wants Stephen, you and I to do on the face of this earth before He calls us home. God united us all in the name of His Son. It's going to be an exciting journey - at the rate that Steve is recovering - it's going to be quite the ride!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Jayna -

So glad to read that Steve is improving so fast. Your story is exactly what I experienced at Methodist when Ron was there. It is some experience, isn't it. We got that same miracle with Ron. I always credited not only the prayers but also the combine of wonderful doctors.

Hope you get to return home this week and Steve does well. I have enjoyed so much reading your blog, thanks!

Janet Burkhalter

Deena said...

Hey Jayna!
I'm so glad to here Steve is doing well. I was also glad to catch Steph at Circle Center Mall. Wow, out of all places to see someone you haven't seen in almost 6 years! crazy...but great.

Been prayin for you guys!

~Deena Best

R Roberts said...

Sounds like you don't really need Stormie O'Martan to teach you about prayer! I am excited by what God is teaching you and how He is using you to do ministry at the hospital as you listen and fetch coffee. I love all the emotions and questions that are going through you and you are sharing with us (thanks so much for that). You think you are there to be by Steve's side, but it sounds to me like you are there in the very presence of God. I also noticed in this post the idea of unity, which again is a word we discussed a lot in preparation for the Bible study. I am so glad for God's blessings upon you all. I pray that God will continue doing the wonderful work in you both that he is doing. I will also continue to pray that God will give you both joy along the way.

Looking forward to being beside you on the journey!
Renee

D. Kalk said...

What a wonderful entry to read. As we go through the termoils in life you put it best that we need to pray to listen for God's direction, whatever it may be. I will take what you have written into a situation that is going on in my life right now. Thanks for the wake-up call.
Love always,
Doug
Prayers will continue for your strength and direction.

Marcia said...

I have been where you are but my journey didn't have a ending where you are now. We didn't understand at the time why and still ask why. But God gave us a peace beyond any through the years and prayer is answered always for the best for us even though we don't understand. We are all so blest for God has his hand on us always!! Tell Steve we are praying daily and also for the whole family. I think God has a wonderful future in store for you and Steve both through your faith and ministry!! Love, Steve and Marcia

Anonymous said...

Jayna and Steve,
I love reading the progress that Steve is making. Your blog is an inspiration to me and to many others. Loved your words on why God spares some and not others and the purpose of prayer. I don't understand everything but have come many of the same conclusions as you have. So we rejoice in the "new life" Steve has been given. Praise God. Love to you all.
Jill

Anonymous said...

Wow!!

It really gets confusing if one tries to figure God out.

In this case let us Thank Him and be glad.

Ron Harper

Laura Beutler said...

We love you guys and are so glad to hear Steve is doing so well! You remain in our prayers!
Your cousins;
Kelly, Julie and Laura Beutler

Anonymous said...

We are so glad to hear that Steve is recovering quickly and that you and the family are recovering as well. Our family will continue to keep up on Steve's progress daily as well as continuing to keep praying for health,strength,peace and plenty of patience. God is good...
Love
The Parrish Family

Anonymous said...

Dear Jayna,
Truly you have penned your feelings elequently, and from the heart and very soul. We are so happy, overjoyed in fact, that Steve and you are home. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, being so trasparent. It is a learning for all of us, but most important is the fact that God does answer prayers, He does allow miracles to happen. We may never learn the reason why, or how, and who was affected by His holy grace and kindness; but . . . hallelujah! God's blessings on you all, and thank you again for sharing. We will continue to hold you up in our prayers, as will our church where you've been on our prayer list the last two weeks. With His love, Kurt & Chris Baron