Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I've been singing a song all day long. I don't really know the song, except for a few words: "Mamma said their'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my mamma said . . . " Well, "mamma" didn't tell me their'd be days like this but the doctors and nurses told us that some days would be good and some days would be bad. Stephen had developed a cough a couple of days ago, but nothing too terrible. He went to Ad Council meeting on Monday night (still coughing, but figuring that the cough was a "side effect" to some of the medications that he is taking). Tuesday and Wednesday he didn't even bother to get dressed he was feeling so terrible. I can only imagine how it feels to cough right after open heart surgery. Not only is he coughing all night long . . . he also has the stomach flu. He is back to sleeping in his Lazyboy chair again and I'm on the couch.

Steve goes to the surgeon on Friday morning of this week. Hopefully the surgeon will release him to drive and go back to work some. I think however we are realizing the going back to work is a very loose phrase.

I have been struggling with my feelings and emotions this week . I have become a very "doting" wife that is not sure she wants her spouse to go back to work. There has been something very sweet about taking care of Steve. Something sweet about having him home. I really hate to give him back to his work - I have rather enjoyed having him around, listening to him, dreaming with him, cuddling up on the couch and sitting quietly by his side. As soon as Steve goes back to work, routine will settle in and the closeness, beauty, and cherishing each other's life will turn into the rat-race of living once again. There is not one moment that I don't think about the fact that "I almost lost" him. It rather depresses me to let our life go back to the every day stresses of deadlines, meetings, responsibility and work.

Oh well . . . I guess letting him go back to work is better than having to accept disability insurance. Anyway . . . we really don't have a clue what Steve will be like when begins rehabilitation - he may be home more than at work for quite a few weeks yet.


Anonymous said...

Hi Steve and Jayna,

We are sorry to read that Steve has the flu/cold. We just got back from choir (missed you Jayna!). We are singing such WONDERFUL, MOVING pieces for Christmas Eve! They made us cry tonight (and we aren't very good yet!).

What can we do to help you guys?? Do you want visitors? Do you need errands run? Would you like some company if Jayna is away for a bit, Steve? We don't want to pester, but please know that we are ready to do whatever you both need, just let us know (459-3516).

Until next time, you are in our prayers every day. We pray that your appointment with the dr Friday goes really well.

We love you both,

Lee and Sue

Adriene Riggle said...

"Mama Said" by the Shirelles

I am sorry to hear that he is ill. I cannot imagine getting sick and coughing after having open heart surgery. It was bad enough coughing after a c-section. We will continue the prayers.


Anonymous said...

Steve and Jayna,
Just wanted to let you know you are still in my prayers. Hope Steve is feeling better. Everyday and every minute is a blessing, even the hard ones.

Darlene P