Yesterday was very emotional for me as I walked into Grace UMC to worship. It overwhelmed me. I was rather surprised that I became so emotional. I have not been very weepy or emotional through the entire process. Oh, sometimes I would tear up, or struggle with controlling my thoughts, but emotion...I was pretty strong and matter of fact about the whole thing. Until...I walked into the house of the Lord. Then... well, I wanted to fall apart. As Iwalked into the church the hugs, the love and sympathy enveloped me. I quickly tried to find my seat thinking that perhaps I wouldn't have to face so many empathetic loving faces; perhaps that would help me get control of myself. I opened my bulletin hoping that people would see that I was "busy" and just give me a moment to get control of myself. Sitting there I looked over the bulletin and settled myself down - at least for awhile. The processional song of the morning began and I opened my mouth to sing "God Will Take Care of You". ...."through days of toil when heart doth fail, God will take care of you...when dangers fierce your path assail, God will take care of you." That did it, the tears began to roll. I know that God did take care of Stephen and I through this whole ordeal. I know that everyday He was with us, sustaining us, guiding us, helping us make right decisions, providing for us... and gratitude poured out of my soul, grasping to just be held safe in His arms. Someone put their arm around me. I was afraid that everyone was watching me. I wanted to escape the building, but then all of a sudden there was that peace again. Wonderful peace coming down from the Father above, sweeping over my spirit. I have always heard about God's peace but have never experienced it like we have over the last couple of weeks. Peace is a very powerful thing.

Perhaps now I understand how hard it must be to walk in the church after you have lost your loved ones. Is it the sanctuary of the Lord? Is it the sympathetic faces? Is it your grief? It's hard to tell. Perhaps it is all of them put together. But, I know now how hard it is to come back into the church after a crises in your life. I find it very interesting and something that I continue to ponder -


Steve continues to do very well. Every day we see marked improvement. He is having people come to visit him now and everyone says "how good he looks". . . and he does look great. He is getting stronger and "back to himself". He wants to get back to work probably sooner than I think would be good for him. Last evening we had a long talk about his health and the life-style changes that need to be made. I feel much better after talking "heart to heart" with him. He is taking alot of responsibility for his health, diet and exercise. I was afraid that I would have to be the "food police", or "exercise sargeant", but that is not the case. He is doing a great job of accessing his health. For that I am very grateful.

Today a group of women from the church are picking me up to take me to lunch. I am so excited to get out a little and just be "normal" again. They suggested going Christmas shopping after lunch - humm.... I guess Christmas is coming . . . a holiday I simply love . . . I wonder why I just don't feel like shopping/decorating/celebrating? Another thing to ponder . . .