Steve's First Sermon

Steve was flying on cloud 9 after worship services yesterday. He was supposed to preach on the Christian symbol (Chrismon) of the harp. However, for his first sermon back after his surgery and knowing all of the death, loss of job, catastrophe's, financial worries, cancer, sickness, heart, and family dynamics going on in our church, he decided to preach where he left off before the heart attack. The Sunday before his hospital experience Steve had preached on soaring with wings of eagles. This Sunday, however, he took that Scripture passage where the prophet Isaiah penned the words "Those who wait upon the Lord....shall soar with wings of eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint." Ending the sermon with sometimes God meets us not with the ectasy of soaring, or the empowerment of running/perserverance...but just to walk and not faint is everything - God is there. It was a very powerful sermon in my estimation - especially in light of everything going on in our life.

After Steve preached 2 sermons, went to Sunday School, he came home for 10 minutes and the telephone rang - so, to the hospital we ran as we watched Bill White's mother slip quietly into heaven. When we finally did get home, Steve was exhausted and in quite a bit of pain. But, he was happy. He stayed home and sat quietly in his chair for the rest of the day. Jayna ran to church for a couple of hours during that time frame, where Steve said "all I did was answer telephones"!

This morning Steve took it easy until 9:30 a.m. - now he has left to go to church. This is the first time he has left me home alone since the heart attack. In some ways it seems like life is back to some semblance of normality - and in other ways my heart is frozen with fear. I have noticed over the last week that I have been very emotional letting Steve go back to work. I have silent tears down my cheeks all the time - I don't really feel sad, I just cry. Trying to analyze myself I assume that I have some fear in letting Steve go back to work so soon. I fear alot. I know the Bible tells me to "fear not, for I am with you ....be not dismayed for I AM your God." I know this in my head, but my heart still fears. I try to rest on the fact the I have placed my trust in the Lord God, I know I have given this man I love to the Lord and to His work - boy . . . another thing to ponder. . . perhaps this is what it means to "walk and not faint" . . . . .